HOW I BURNED OFF 40 POUNDS WITH RED HOT PEPPERS

Heed the warning signs your body is broadcasting, my friends. That's number one right there. For years I was complaining to my Doctors about chest pain and shortness of breath. They did all kinds of tests and found nothing. The pains continued and I wrote it off as anything but what it really was. At my peak I was hitting 248, then I would cut back for a while and drop down into the 230s. But I didn't really change my diet. Rather than list all the bad food I was eating lets just say this. I lived in Las Vegas, NV. for thirty years and never met a buffet I didn't fall in love with.
In the 90s I was writing a lot and sitting around all day, by the turn of the century I was really getting weaker and having difficulty with physical excretion. But still the Doctors could find no abnormality with my heart. I was getting so tired I couldn’t even write or concentrate. We like to fantasize about a catastrophic end by super storms, biblical plagues, or the eminent zombi apocalypse, but the real danger is right in our refrigerators.
In my life time I’ve eaten hundreds of cows, pigs, turkeys, sheep, countless chickens and just about
everything else even fried gator. I especially loved them deep fried with buckets of gravy and potatoes.
Fried catfish! Oh shit, don't get me going on catfish. Everywhere I went it was all you can eat catfish, breakfast lunch and dinner, YUM.
In 2008 we sold our Vegas properties and bought Mystic Canyon Ranch in New Mexico. At last I could devote more time to writing Sci Fi novels. I was getting more exercise working around the ranch but New Mexican cuisine is so freaking good and I do love spicy food. You know I found a place down here that serves deep fried avocados with jalapeno ranch. Kill me to death!
Unfortunately, the chest pains got worse, so bad I couldn’t ignore them any longer. At one point I was flat on my back like a five hundred pound gorilla was bouncing on my chest. What's his problem? I never ate any primates.
I went to the Doctor he took one look at my EKG and rushed me to the emergency room. They did some tests and determined that I had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. They shipped me by ambulance a hundred miles away to a crack team of cardiologists. My surgeon was ancient shriveled up with hunched shoulders. He reminded me of the proverbial mad scientist, I new right away I was in good hands.
They went to work on me immediately making an incision in my artery and inserted wires and cables from my groin to my heart. They pumped a special dye in to track my blood flow through my heart. Once they determined my arteries were 91% blocked they inflated balloons in there and inserted three stints. Little tubes to keep the arteries open.

You know when you’re laid out on a slab wide awake and some guy you just met five minutes ago is using your heart as a sock puppet. You get a new perspective on life really quick. You also discover just how much excruciating pain you can endure without flinching. For to do so would instantly change the outcome of the procedure. Well, I guess I had it coming, I did eat all those animals.

After my near death experience 16 months ago I had to make a lot of changes. Diet mainly I’ve
lost 40 lbs on my salsa diet. Yeah you eat a lot of greens, very little meat and you cover all that
grass up with SALSA. It’s great and I feel good. I also had to reevaluate my perception of time.
You do that when you pass the reaper in the hall and he winks at you. I’ve been working my crossbreed series for five years and I decided I’ve got to get on with it because time is fleeting.
So how did I do it? Changing my diet was key. No fried food, no pork in any form and yes bacon is pork and stacking it a mile high on everything is not good. No sugary sweets or ice cream except on birthdays. Milk yogurt and cheese in extreme moderation.
Now days I have to eat a lot of vegies fruit and Oatmeal. so it’s good I like them but they can get boring if you must cut out red meat. Now that’s tough if you’re an omnivore. So here’s a tip, but I warn you it’s not for the weak of stomach.

SALSA OLE'

Slice and dice 1 cup of onion, 5 cloves fresh garlic, chile peppers to taste. I like a lot, but you should be careful if you haven’t built up resistance. Add a little cilantro if you have it and a squeeze of lime juice. Now comes the tomatoes. Dice them fresh as many as you need. 5 big ones will make a good amount of salsa. A faster way is 2 cans of diced tomatoes. Either way is good. Add all ingredients to a large pan and bring to a boil. Warning, pan searing peppers, onion and garlic together requires some ventilation. Very powerful combination.
Reduce heat to medium and simmer ten minutes or longer as needed. This is the basic recipe for salsa. From this platform you can run wild. Add almost anything, ground turkey meat cooked

separately or steamed vegies and mushrooms. Pour over rice, noodles, toasted bread of course chips will do but they are high in fat. Salsa has no fat or cholesterol. For a splash of western flavor add a squirt of BBQ sauce.

Salsa really takes the boredom out of vegetarian fare. You can also add cheese and other meats if your heart Doc doesn’t find out. Those days are over for me but the party must go on.

If you’re looking to shed a few pounds my salsa diet works as long as you eliminate the obvious
pound packers. You know the ones without me listing them. Alcoholic beverages are a factor too, I only have a glass of wine rarely anymore. There was a time when I launched battleships on seas of booze but not for many years.
I eventually dropped down to 195. after a year and just stopped, for months I was stuck. This was not good and my cholesterol count was still bad. So I had to make another change. I cut way back on carbohydrates. About a hundred grams a day. I dramatically reduced my bread, tortillas, rice, noodles, potatoes and defiantly cut back on sweets. Oh yeah gravy is for holidays only. I know that's rough but fear not, salsa will save the day I assure you. At this point I started eating the occasional steak, beef has vital nutrients and 2 or 3 times a month is acceptable. You can have a few bites of rice, bread and pasta... I said bites not bowls. A bite fits on the end of a fork. I don't care if it is fat free it's the carbs that kill you.

ZUCCHINI BOATS

We are lucky that we can grow organic vegetables in our garden. This year we started Habanero peppers. Ye ha! Hot!
So what do you do with a squash that’s as big as a watermelon? First you cut it in half and hollow
out the seeds then place in turkey pan. Then get out your slicer-dicer thingy and finely chop up
about a ½ cup each of onion, cauliflower, celery, cabbage, carrots, and broccoli. Then 1 or 2
jalapeno peppers, 5 cloves garlic, 2 eggs and 2 cups turkey stuffing. Moisten with chicken broth.
Grind up 2 skinless chicken breasts and mix it all in a large bowel. Then stuff the boats. Add some
vegies around the side and bake for 1& 1/2 hours at 450. Adjust cooking time to size of zuks.
This recipe is based on what you like and have in the fridge. If you want to go totally vegan leave
out the chicken and sub with lots of mushrooms. If you’re not too keen on all those vegies then
just smother it in salsa like me.
LINTAL FEISTA
Start with chopping red onions, garlic and a pepper. Add a leek if you've got it. Pressure cook a bag of lintels in four quarts of water. Very good for you and goes well with salsa. Actually most any beans will work with this recipe.
HUEVOS CON SALSA
I love eggs but I eat eggbeaters now [0 Cholesterol], I make spinach mushroom omelets with salsa for breakfast. Or oatmeal and fruit. No cholesterol to worry about and the carbs in oatmeal are off set by the fact that oatmeal helps control cholesterol. Unfortunately, oatmeal gets tiresome so I add peanut butter and pecans with blackberries.

NO BURN NO LOSS

Well that covers the diet, but if you don't burn the calories you take in it will never work. I get up before dawn and drink steaming hot Chinese green tea and watch the sun come up over Mystic Canyon. Some times I do this from the tree house. It gets my Zin going to face the day. I work on the computer for a while then I go out and work until around 3pm. I stay really busy just read the other blogs before this one. Physical activity is painful at my age but it keeps me from stagnating. You have to burn those cals and keep the body limber.
So why the big emphasis on salsa? Look at the ingredients. Onions, garlic, tomatoes, and peppers. These four items are packed with nature's healers, all four are known to aid with a score of conditions that plague humans. Thousands of books and articles have been written about them, you've got the internet at your finger tips look it up.
Then you must deal with the fact that we are carnivorous creatures. We love meat, dairy, sweats and bread products. If you cut all that out you will give up in short order because of boredom. Spicy food is not boring, salsa added to most meals will liven up your day. You don't have to go wild like me, I love the burn. You can turn the pepper down to a warm glow and be satisfied.
My current weight is 190 Lbs. When I went in for surgery I was 230. You do the math it's no magic formula. Eat less of fat and carbs work out a lot and spice up your meals to make them fun and exciting. I hope this helps and even if you're not concerned about your weight Salsa is a great party food.
FINAL NOTES
Counting carbs is a pain so I made a carb chart of all my favorite foods by looking them up on the net. I keep it handy where I cook and a small one in my wallet. Don't keep your peppers in the fridge. They tend to rot so leave them in a bowl on the counter. They dry out and turn red but you can still eat them. Also fresh salsa is the best but I always keep a dozen jars of store bought in the pantry. You know just in case the zombies overrun Walmart.

HALLOWEEN COSPLAY

Spooky Jack-o-Lanterns, monster costumes, scary movie marathons and bloody haunted houses. Yes it's that time again and I'm excited and sad. Sad because I won't be going to Vegas to hang out with Evil Don and Gail Charette. They run the loony bin known as the Asylum.

Or check out the block parties with Joe Eagle Eyes and Benny the Badger and other ghoulish gatherings that I wish I could see. Perhaps another time.

Excited however because my son Patrick and I are busy building the Blood Moon Social Club and Crossbreeds pages under the new www.koolkollectables.com. This blog vetterSverse is part of that effort but we are building much more. The BMSC page will have an undead art gallery and a Fangtastic Photo album. Filled with pics form back in the night when Vampire the Masquerade was all the rage.

The crossbreed page will expand on the crossbreed series. Featuring details that may not be in the books. Background on the characters and artwork to flesh out the world of the crossbreeds.

I think most writers approach their work from a classic literary prospective. They work up a concept put together an outline and craft a novel from that.
I do it from the prospective of a gamer. First I design the world and then I work up character profiles. In the beginning with crossbreeds I made miniatures and played out scenarios with dice. Later I visualized the world as a video game. For me this allows the characters to become more real. I get board with stories where the narrative is mostly from the writer. I give my characters each their own voice, I like to hear what they have to say.

Lieutenant Dixon; Eradicator: Infiltrator. Mission: Blend in gather intelligence. Report to Eiger Dracthorn. Reclamation of pre-war technology and precocious materials buried in landfills is crucial for survival in the world of crossbreeds. Hunter's Point a crossbreed stronghold is sitting on a bonanza of recyclable materials. The scrap boom attracts hoards of prospectors looking to stake a claim. One more scavie looks as any other and Dracthorn's agent skulks about drawing little attention. Dixon's first appearance in Scorn the Vulgarian, Crossbreeds 3: Dark Legends.

At this time of year I always enjoy the costumes, make up and props the most. After we moved from Vegas to Mystic Canyon my cosplay gear was buried in a steel vault. Recently I dug it all out. Since I'm in the Halloween spirit anyway I decided to take the crossbreed character development a step further.

Why not? I've got a massive collection of props and a hundred and fifty acres of canyons, winding river and dense forest. For those of you that remember how remote the old ranch was where we held the Blood Moon Vampire games. This is much further out. No one can hear you scream. The perfect setting to let the crossbreeds out of their book world and roam around the real world.

Trooper Rotax; Eradicator: Cyborg weapons specialist. Mission: Seek out and destroy all crossbreeds. The Crossbreed Phenomenon has no known cause. Yet many believe it is a contagion. Eiger Dracthorn believes he has the cure. With bionanotech he mentally controls an army of drones to rid humanity of the source; crossbreeds. Eiger Dracthorn's first appearance in Scorn The Vulgarian; Crossbreeds 3: Dark Legends.

Of course this all seems innocent enough, actually one could argue that it's silly for a grown man to dress up like a hideous mutant and skulk around in the woods with dangerous weapons. Silly you say! Next you'll accuse me of being a delusional paranoid psychotic and that somehow I've become detached from reality. Go ahead it's been said before, I know what they whisper behind my back. Well I say reality is what you make of it. In my world anything is possible. They come alive and speak to me, they live I tell you, they live...

Boris; Stage 2 Crossbreed: Caprine. Saboteur & hijacker. Mission: Bring about the end of technology in the name of the great horned one. With the world in chaos many sought comfort from clergy. When even organized religion could not give adequate response to why children were changing at puberty, cults claiming to have answers sprang up like weeds. A popular theory among them was the rise of the old ones. Somehow the ancient gods had returned to punish mankind for his worship of technology and the destruction of mother earth. Boris appears in Crossbreeds 2: Tanglewood Terrorists.

What I meant to say is they live as figments of my fevered imagination.

Badlander; Occupation: Road Pirate. Mission: Pillage and plunder. With the collapse of the government and disintegration of civilization. Many disaffected souls have gone into the harsh wilderness. Bands of raiders harry truckers and caravans to survive off the spoils. Both crossbreeds and 100% humans prowl the high desert looking for easy prey.

I'll cut this short, it's time for my pills and a nap. For the record I'll tell you the same thing I told the sheriff. I know nothing about those missing collage students. Naked hedonist, they could be anywhere. The deep dark canyons are so unforgiving.

TECHNO-APOCALYPTO

Technology is changing so incredibly fast it's hard to keep up. Especially, for the Boomers but we've managed to figure out texting, E-mail, and smart phones. Not as quickly as the younger generation, true enough. Way back in the dark ages we learned to read books that had big heavy pages and we wrote letters with a thing called an ink pin. We gave them to a guy on a horse and he rode hell bent to hand the mail off to another rider to delver them. It was tough but we evolved. Even our telephones were primitive, huge bulky things tethered to the wall with a cord and had a dangerous dial that sometimes strained our finger to turn it. Oh yeah we did have cameras but not married to our phones. You had to wait a week for the prints to come back before you knew which ones to delete.

You neo-tech gurus are so smug at how tech savvy you are, but if your operating systems go down you look so funny staring at blank screens. I just crack up when the panic fills your eyes when your bars disappear. If there is to be an Apocalypse it won't be from zombies. It will be when a terrorist figures out how to shut down the net cutting you off from your movie and game library in the cloud. Pandemonium! You'll all start eating each other. We old farts however will just light a lantern, dust off a copy of Huck Finn then wait for the lights to come back on.

THAT STILL MAKES US SMARTER THAN YOU SO WIPE THAT ARROGANT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE NURD-PUNK.

MACAYO THE MAGNIFICENT

Things were happening in the 80s, a lot of technological changes. Video rental stores were popping up on every corner. The personal computer was the must have home improvement. My wife Carol and I were looking to make some changes too. Leave California and the natural food business to start. Maybe try something radically different, a reinvention of sorts.

We had just gotten a pair of cockatiels and were having a lot of fun training the little cuties. Carol suggested we move to Las Vegas, NV. And start raising and training exotic birds. I'd had a tropical fish hatchery in my backyard when I was a kid and I'd spent some time on my grandmother's Texas cattle ranch. Chickens were the only birds I had any familiarity with but what the heck let's go wild.

That crazy idea would turn out to be a great adventure and one bird above all others would change our lives forever. We moved to Vegas and hunted around for a suitable place where we could raise parrots. Someplace where the chattering wouldn't disturb neighbors. We jumped around a bit as our flock grew but we came to rest and soon had dozens of birds. Some imported, others hand raised. Among the first imports was a very cool looking blue and gold macaw from South America. We called him Macayo. He seemed to be different from the others and quickly learned some simple tricks. After a few weeks it was obvious just how different Macayo was. He advanced well beyond simple tricks and also his plumage was sharper than other macaws.

During this time we had other jobs and had met a prominent local woman, we worked for her on and off. She had two young children the boy around two and the girl a few years older. Eventually we managed a mini storage property in an industrial zone for her. It was perfect for our flock. No neighbors and lots of room.

My wife being the smart one decided if we were to rent all the units we should seek clients other than people looking to store their belongings. So we advertized “music studios for rent”. Turns out a lot of rock bands needed a place to practice where the noise wouldn’t attract the police. This part of the story will become relevant further on.

A lot was going on at this time I was really into photography and taking pictures of our beautiful birds. I'd also acquired an early model of a new gadget. The video camera was just hitting the market and what a wonderful technology to have. The camera was huge and you had to carry the recorder deck separately on your shoulder with a strap. I put it to good use capturing the birds doing tricks and our benefactor’s children. To make the videos more interesting I would shoot little movies with props and costumes. On occasion I would swipe the little boy's Star Wars action figures and make stop action movies for him. This part of the story will also become relevant later.

I was getting so confident with Macayo that I decided to hire us out as a pirate and his trained parrot for children's parties. My wife whipped up a costume while Macayo and I worked out a routine. We were a hit... well OK he was a hit. It was really Macayo The Magnificent and his pirate sidekick. He knocked them dead when he rolled across the floor on his modified corvette stingray.

Jazzed at the possibilities I conceived a bigger stunt. I built a ramp and rigged up all his cars so when he rolled down the ramp his momentum would carry him over the cars like a feathered Evil Knievel. I was of course concerned for his safety. So we practiced the gag several times with me holding on but at some point he would have to drive all on his own.

When the time came the stunt was flawless, just as he launched air born he spread his wings and guided the jump truck to a perfect landing. I was elated. Now you might think this was a simple thing to teach the other birds, but no. While some managed to stay with the vehicle none could guide it to such a smooth landing. Macayo was truly gifted and fearless he made it look easy.

Our sons Pat and Phil were graduating and deciding on what they were going to do in life. Phil wanted to serve in the Marines and Pat was a varsity jock / computer wiz kid who'd taken over his computer class in high school. By now we had scores of birds and needed to expand. So Patrick decided to partner up with us and Parrot Gallery was born. We opened on Spring Mt. Road in view of the Las Vegas strip. We had birds, tropical fish, reptiles, and all manner of exotic pets and our party business grew too.

Now with a menagerie this big I could go on for ten thousand words with stories that would blow you away. Like when the ball python escaped into the sewer and gave a secretary the shock of her life when he turned up in her toilet three doors down. Poor Patrick had to play plumber with a real snake. Or the time our monkey was monkey-napped and Carol and I went undercover to rescue him from a gang of thieves. Yes there are so many stories but that's for another blog post, for now I'll try to keep it on topic.

Macayo too has many stories to tell but here is one of his best. Aside form kid and adult parties we also did free shows for classrooms and school carnivals. Birds weren’t the only critters we took to these educational events there were turtles, emperor scorpions, tarantulas and snakes. But it was a new member of the troop that really got them excited. Lash the Dragon would come crawling out of his black travel castle and flick his long forked tongue at the kids. He was a four foot long Nile monitor lizard of the Komodo family. Fierce to look upon but gentle as a pussy-cat unless you were a rat then it was curtains for you.

These events were all fun but the best one was Bird shows for Blind kids. Now you're probably scratching your head about now. “They're blind right?” Yes, but the visually impaired can see with their fingers. And virtually none of the kids in the audience had ever touched a small parrot much less a three foot long macaw with a huge hooked bill; capable of crushing walnuts. Lash was especially popular with the visually impaired kids for his hide was like beaded leather and he flicked them with his tongue, which got a lot of giggles. When the media heard about this, Macayo was the talk of Vegas. Two newspapers and three TV news crews covered the event.

Lash was getting a reputation too just a little scarier. He and I would stroll about in front of Parrot Gallery, he in studded black leather harness on a leash like a bull terror. He could clear a sidewalk quicker than you can say, “What the heck is that?” Like Macayo Lash was unique among the big lizards. They all came in wild and quick to strike with tail or bite. Most could be tamed with some work but Lash was different. He took to people and learned that they were a prime source of his favorite snacks. Now as promised the relevance of those aforementioned rock bands.

We still managed the mini storage for our friend and had many bands that we sometimes would hire for parties. You see how all things are connected. There was one group of talented young musicians that really wanted to enter the Battle of the Bands at a local nightclub. It was well known that a very popular group always took first place. But second place was usually up for grabs. Our unknown group, “My Exciter” had no chance in hell of winning anything. Too many top competitors with a good following of fans each. But we thought their brand of metal rock was good so we made some videos and got them a few gigs.
They had this one number that just cracked me up. They did a metal version of the Flintstones theme song. This got me to thinking, what if their lead dancer could do her number with Lash to the Flintstones? Lash was no problem but the young lady was terrified of the lizard that was almost as long as she was tall. I worked with her until she was comfortable and the big night came. The place was a mad house, the music was insane and Lash was cooped up for a long time in his special travel case. When My Exciter were finally called it was near midnight. They did their regular set which was good but was in no way going to get a prize. So it was all up to Lash who came out of his bag with a wild hiss. The music was loud and his partner danced behind him in a Wilma Flintstone cave girl costume as he tugged at his leash. Lash was very curious about the crowd and drug her to the edge of the stage. The gawkers in the front row all leaned back as far as they could. The howlers in the back wanted to see better and pressed forward.
Lash puffed up and strutted his dinosaur heritage for all to see, causing the audience to gasp and roar. He snared second place in his powerful jaws as if it were a fat juicy rodent and swallowed it whole.

Macayo continued to preform for audiences large and small and he appeared in TV in commercials as well as appearing in print. Remember the little boy that I was careful not to name? He grew up to become a beloved celebrity himself. Can you guess who he is?

 

Macayo is retired now and living comfortably in Mystic Canyon. We do a few tricks for the grand kids now and then just to stay loose. Recently, however I've put forth the idea of him maybe coming out of retirement and doing some web work, maybe You Tube. He's weighing his options.

Oh yeah the little boy. Give up? He's Matthew Gray Gubler... [Spencer Reid; Criminal Minds CBS.]... You know, The Riddler; Batman Assault on Arkham.. Yeah that Matthew Gray Gubler.

 

KAYLA

They say the best things in life are free. Well, you could debate that with a rich old bastard who can buy a basketball team. But does his dog watch over him night and day? We found her in a classified add, FREE PUPPY. We drove over to Roswell to see her. Her name was already Kayla, so we let it stick. She was aggressive and refused to come to me. I'd had Chinese food just before going to her home. The pork rib in my cargo pocket was too enticing. She came for it and we've been buddies ever since. Two years later she still sniffs my pockets for treats.

Kayla is a Catahoula Cur AKA Louisiana leopard dog to breeders, Hog Dog to boar hunters. Catahoula's are a strong working breed. They go way back, probably came with the natives when they came from Asia. Very popular with the Choctaw. The State of Louisiana anointed them as their State dog in 1979. Not bad for a local mutt that didn't come over on the Mayflower. 

No mater what I'm doing she's always about. Watching from a shady spot, sneaking through the mesquit brush or romping in the river. I call and she's there, I go to town she follows me to the gate and waits until I return. When I'm working in the Garage she's napping near by. When I nod of in my office chair she'll get up and nudge me awake then go back to her resting spot. Apparently, her job is to keep me awake to do my job.

She amuses me to no end when she barks and growls at thunder and lightning. I've had big mail dogs that run and hide from the gods but not her. She will challenge the Mighty Thor until the storm fades to a drizzle.

Well that's all I had to say. She doesn't do any goofy Face Book tricks she just watches over me night and day and that's OK.

APP TO THE BEYONDER

No one has written an App to let you call beyond the veil with your smart phone yet. Until they do we know not what lies on the other side. So we're left with fearing the inevitable or facing the grim reaper with grimmer determination to stay one step ahead of his soul reaping scythe.

A year ago I found myself knocking at Death's door when my arteries closed up. Since then I've come to realize your time on this plane is fleeting. Rather than burrow deep into a tunnel of despair I say build a tower of defiance. Build it with bricks of compassion and mortar of humor.

This blog is a prime example of what I'm getting at. Genetically speaking I'm living on borrowed time. All my familial predecessors croaked in their sixties given that DNA marker I could stroke-out any minute. As that great sage Alfred E. Newman so aptly put it “What me worry?” I've embarked on a whole new career path. Writing, blogging, social networking all new skills I'm teaching myself. After decades of running small businesses it's a real shift in direction for me.

Up to now the vetterSverse blog has been about my life, but I don't want to ride the pale horse alone. Along the way I've met a number of fascinating people. These extraordinary individuals exemplify the kind of perseverance and humor that I'm key-stroking about. I will invite them to opine on whatever subject I'm writing about. Their life experiences and expertize should make for interesting discussions. So keep reading friends and you'll meet some truly unique characters.

ARE WESTERNS DEAD IN THE DUST?

Tragically classic westerns are dying a slow painful death but not from the occasional Hollywood blunder like the Lone Ranger. They screwed that one up twice, you'd think they would get it by now. You don't take an iconic hero and make him into a punk. You'll piss off the core fan base in the first five minutes of the film.

No we can handle occasional screw ups, westerns are dying because of fans like me. You see we grew up with westerns dominating the big screen and TV. The real Lone Ranger {Clayton More} and Tonto {Jay Silverheals} were thrilling. We actually played cowboys and Indians in the back yard with toy colts and not with a joy stick. Before the PC Pigs that is. We went to rodeos wearing our Stetsons and boots. We have ridden a horse that didn’t require a quarter in a slot. But we’re disappearing fast and that's the issue. If westerns are to survive they must adapt to the new audience. 

Oh there’s a few real cowboys left in the ranch lands of Texas, Nevada, Wyoming and Montana, the other day I saw one riding a pretty paint through Tularosa, New Mexico. A while back an old timer in his 70s rode in strapped in chaps, boots and trusty six gun. A throwback to a vanishing way of life and so too is the classic western were the Duke and Clint ride into town bust out with a .45 and cap the bad guys then ride out. 

Mystic Canyon Ranch where I live and have been writing crossbreeds a SciFi series with a western flavor, is open range. My lady neighbor is always riding her horse on my land hunting for stray cows. You don't usually equate women with being fans of westerns and maybe they're not so big on all the gun-play. But they love horses and many romance stories are set with a western backdrop. As a writer I'm always interested in the female perspective. A lot of equestrians are female, like my pal Linda Ischer from Las Vegas who was a rodeo queen. These days she works for a booking and talent agency www.bookitinvegas.com. 

Linda. “Yep I use to rodeo and gymkhana here in Vegas for years, then once I bought my paint mare I got heavily into paint horse shows then into breaking and training for some time.”

KCV. “Who's your favorite western stars?

Linda. “Oh wow that's a tough one. The iconic John Wayne has got to be my all time favorite. Though if it was historic I would say Jessie James, he-he, and you can't deny Clint Eastwood in the Good the Bad and the Ugly, then there is Cat Balloo.”

KCV “Well you covered it with the Duke, The bad boy, Spaghetti Westerns and comedy. Lee Marvin won an Oscar and a Golden Globe for best actor for Cat Balloo 1965, it's a classic. Now I know you are a big fan of fantasy and horror, but what shows do you watch now that have a western influence?”

Linda. “I love fantasy and horror for sure. I do enjoy Hell on Wheels it has that bad ass feel to it. Breaking Bad has a bit as well and I know it really isn't a western influence but for me I find a bit of the old school western aspects as well as fantasy in the Walking Dead and Revolution as well.”

KCV. “The Walking Dead is a great example of a horror western. In it's premier episode the lone sheriff rides into town wearing a big hat on his head and big iron on his hip. The Zombies represent the traditional antagonists of the western gunfighter; outlaws, banditos, Indians take your pick. So what about the gun-play is that a factor? Do any shooting yourself?”

Linda. “ Of course gun-play is a factor lol, yes I have done some rabbit hunting a LONG time ago he-he. A friend of mine let me try his double barrel shotgun once, and yes he set both barrels so when I pulled the trigger it knocked me square on my 110 pound ass, lmao.”

KCV. “Now that would have made a great You-Tube video. I was way off on the gun-play angle. Should have known better what with all the female action stars blasting away.”

Linda. “Lol this is true for those women who are not insecure, the insecure ones only want the romance aspect ( not that it's a bad thing lol ) but a bad ass woman who knows how to handle a gun is pretty exhilarating and yes a manly man; the bad boy. Ohh very nice.”

KCV. “Thanks for your input I've learned that what appeals to men about a western is universal with the ladies too. At least the ones that ride, shoot and love those smoldering outlaw types.”

So we've seen shows like Dead Wood, Hell on Wheels, Lonesome Dove and Unforgiven, draw critical praise and an audience, but good rope operas are far and few between. One of my favorites is Young Guns 1 & 2 best Billy the Kid flicks ever. Sadly however the classic white hats vs the black hats western is fading into the sunset. 

However, the concept of the Old West as a setting for mixed genera stories is booming like a mining town in old Nevada. Recently American audiences have been entertained by a stamped of mixed genera Sci-Fi and horror westerns.

The Sci Fi channel's Defiance is nothing more than Gunsmoke in the future. The lawkeeper is your {Matt Dillon}. Defiance is your {Dodge City} and of course you have his girlfriend running the saloon and brothel {Miss Kitty}.

Quentin Tarantino is noted for mixing his genres, Kill Bill is a perfect amalgamation of spaghetti western, samurai martial arts and anima. Other Sci Fi and horror films cut from rawhide are John Carpenter's Vampires and Cowboys and Aliens. And lets not forget all the time travel flicks where the traveler goes Old West. Back to the Future 2 comes to mind.

Some stories are flat out western no matter what the setting. Here's a good one, A lone gunman {Bruce Willis} rolls into a dusty South-West village near the Mexican border. The town is divided into two armed camps of brutal Chicago style gangsters. Soon the enterprising gunman is working for both sides and the streets run red. Will he be “The Last Man Standing”? 1996

Does that plot sound familiar? Then try this one. A lone gunslinger {Clint Eastwood} rides into a dusty South-West village near the Mexican border. Ruled by two rival families engaged in a bloody feud, the gunslinger hires out first to one then the other. It won't be long before he has a “Fist Full of Dollars} 1964.

Ah but the fun didn't begin there. Yojimbo 1961. A Ronin Samurai {Toshiro Mifune} wanders upon a village divided by two rival gangs. Soon he's working for both... well you get the drift.

In my rambling way I eventually get to the point. A western is a western is a western, no matter how you dress it up. 

Cowboys may be old fashion but their influence is timeless and crosses all borders. So I wouldn’t write off the old time gunfighter just yet. Some of the toughest most enduring heroes ever put to screenplay came riding out of the dry dusty American west. They've been shot, stabbed, staked out over ant hills, blown up with dynamite, and pushed of cliffs into raging rapids. But those steely eyed bronc busters keep coming back for more.